THE SILENCE 2012

As salam,

More than a year i left this blog. There is nothing much to say what happened in 2012 as most of the time =Work+Eat+Sleep , most identical to EatPrayLove..just there is no love. yeah..still single but never available..hahaha..2012 i'm busy with all the preparation for my study, even with stack of work in the lab and office, Alhamdulillah, i managed to solve everything..yeah i did it!! Syukran Ya Allah. ok..lets start the real talking --->> Where did I stop on this page :  Previous Location : Bandar Baru Salak Tinggi Sepang Malaysia. Where am I now starting on this page again : Current Location : Lauderdale Crescent Manchester. Yeah, it is, currently I am here. I've been talking and wishing to be here a lot in my previous post rite. Finally my dream do come true. Being here just a beginning. Still have a long way to go. Forgot to mention, I reached UK on 30th September 2012. Huh, never  realize hows time flies. Been here for 6 months giving me mixed feelings, sad, happy, anxious, blur, boring (might be). Become a student again after 4 years working really a huge challenge. the real challenge is to fight with myself. how do i encounter my motivation level. its going up and down. Being the only Malaysian PhD in the school and also in the group was truly a big shock. yeah, my first week motivation level : 2/10. now its already 6 months. how do i rate it now? still unsure : (. the research itself is really new for me. especially the programming part. fuhh..PhD is really though. now i believe the word of Permanent Head Damage. Missing Malaysia most of the time..frankly..all time : ( , being away from home such a big deal ok. i miss everybody back home. my family,frens..and the food. hehehe..the good thing is, craving for food which is impossible to find here make me push myself to do all the cooking...all by myself..hehe..at the moment i know how to cook kari ayam, daging singgang, ayam halia, kuih seri kaya, just to name a few.. and i do create my own signature : nazaspie..hehehe. ok..i'll stop here. will come back later..insyaAllah. my last word for today : BECAUSE TOMORROW IS  JUST HOPE, BE THANKFUL FOR WHAT YOU HAVE TODAY..

Venice of Holland

I'm always wanted to be at the most stunning places all around the globe. To absorb and feels the masterpiece of God's creation. Sort of them..

1) Venice of Holland (Giethoorn)
2) Alberta-Banff,Jasper
3) Himachal  Pradesh

Here's a few pics from a friend in Holland who just enjoying the art of the world at Giethoorn a few weeks before. It is worth for a money to be here. According to her, this place is worth for your cam on next spring!!!There will be a lot of colorful garden.wow..my wish list...

Frankly speaking..I miss them a lot

Aku rindu kt semua G10 heroin..rindu kt kwn2 zaman master dulu..rindu kt kawan2 smdi dulu..aku tulis ni..sambil nangis..ini semua rentetan dari entry aku yg sebelum ini..kes menangis xabis lg..aku rindu sgt nak gelak2 mcm dulu..rindu..

Finally I'm crying for the year 2011

Tonite, suddenly I'm crying becoz of some wall post on facebook and finally decided to deactivate my fb account..i'm feel isolated..and now while writing this entry..i'm still crying..rase mcm nak pergi jauh je skrg nih..nak lari dari semua org..nak pergi jauh mengejar cita-cita..nak mulakan hidup baru...3 tahun aku kt sepang ni..aku mmg takde best fren coz aku mmg lone ranger..bg aku biarlah kite baik dgn smua org..tp kadang2 aku cukup terasa bila aku kadang2 disisih oleh rakan2 sekerja ku..biarlah..ape harus aku buat..manusia mmg ukar utk menilai seseorg dr luaran..dlm hati hanya Allah yg tahu..walau kdg2 kite rase org baik dgn kite..tp mungkin itu kerana kite ade kepentingan utk mereka..walau bg aku..aku kawan dgn org sejujur-jujurnya..tidak ada pilih kasih di antara mereka semua..tidak ada buruk sangka..tp mereka...hanya Allah yg tahu..tp kerana mereka jugalah aku menangis teramatlah byk mlm ini..tp aku yakin..setiap yg berlaku pasti ade hikmahnyer..rentetan dari peristiwa ini..alku semakin bersemangat utk menyiapkan semua yg aku dah delay for almost 2years..aku ingin pergi jauh..tinggalkan semua ini...kenangan yg hanya menyakitkan..aku pun sendiri tidak tahu bagaimana harus aku menghadapi hari esok..bertemu dgn mereka-mereka itu..aku hanya ingin terus buat kerja aku..dan tidak mahu hiraukan mereka..semua yg aku ada kurniaan Allah..beauty from inside..hanya Allah yg tahu..from outside..amat senang utk mereka menilai..kerana itu semua dosa mata semata-mata..manusia mmg tidak dpt menilai sebuah pengorbanan yg kite berikan walaupun ia secara amatlah tulus dan ikhlas sekiranya penilaian luaran sudah mendominasi semuanya..biarlah..hanya Allah yang tahu..dan aku..menangis lg..dan lg..dan lg..

Wrapping Up the 2010

While waiting, its worth for me to have a bit touch on this page, since its been idle for months.Tomorrow will be a public holiday for Malaysian. Thanx to our Harimau Malaya Soccer Team for giving us this holiday!!!2011 is coming, its time to wrapping up the 2010 despite there is nothing to wrap actually...:( Yeah that sounds sobs.The "good" thing is I gained more weight this year.Ha ha ha..that was the easiest thing I'm capable of doing. And I'm also having lots of hilarious time by spending the money all over the year. My social life also a bit declining this year. I'm not interested to have any of those loafing and loitering. Not attending any of wedding invitations. Folks, sorry for that. I'm purchased a lots of new novel and need to finish them or I got something else to do hahaha..excuses?In fact..I'm just ended up on the bed and keep dreaming. But all the while I kept thinking those unrealized dream and its will be continuously remain the same.

I WONT STOP

i wont i wont i wont!!!!!!!i keep walking toward my dream despite there's a lot of things waiting...
this journey is scarifying,challenging, teasing,hurting...to reach the end, i do pick the wrong paths, but then i turned back, i do slip away,but then i woke up, its just like crawling in the dark searching for the lights...

HERE AND THERE

i do my first mistake for 2010 = frustration+regret = padan muka!!! i really dont know why i let it go just like that..golden chance...TPM..i'm sorry..sorry for myself...but then...those things keep vivid just for few weeks...stack of works help me to forget everything.a new challenge comes to me on mid jan until end of feb, to conduct APMP.L-K4, piloted by Taiwan, hosted by Japan, participated by various country,a key comparison of diameter standards..they do help me out of misery, but then put me in tiring...everyday i end up until 7.30pm in the lab...very tiring..then, end of feb, right after its all over...new journey has come..the proficiency testing conducted by standards malaysia, piloted by us (NML-SIRIM) and me..was the officer in-charge for calibration of gauge block..that sounds easy, but i'm the one who's responsible for everything.it starts with pre-implentation workshop on 3rd march, despite its a bit riot that day...one of my colleague has spark on his presentation...participated labs didn't satisfied with new proposed measurement range..i do pity on him..but we try our best to support everybody..and thanks to Allah s.w.t. mine was ok..even i just straightly present., no script was prepared..its ok, as always i'm not a good presenter..thats why i'm a bit doubt to be a lecturer...that was ongoing tasks until end of this year, then me and my senior metrologist work on our malfunctioned green laser , a part of automatic gauge block interferometer system..we opened up that laser and do some troubleshooting..and we quite satisfied with our finding...the problem might comes from high voltage power supply..we already ask a quotation form cvi:melles griot singapore..then a new challenge beguns...i've been nominated to be a guest researcher for CCL-K11 for optical frequency/wavelength standards that will be held on 19th-24th April 2010, at NIMJ,Tsukuba, Japan...seem like I'm going to work like machine again..there's a lot of things to be prepared..hand carry application (to be in the cabin) of Iodine-Stabilized He-Ne Laser to Malaysia Air Lines,ATA Carnet, laser characterization and bla bla bla...stack of works......asking myself..do i have to neglect my dream then?